this tweet alone has restored my faith in Amanda Bynes.
I hate my friends
So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT
But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut.
Cry
WHEN I WAS 4 I WAS ON SESAME STREET AND I HAD AN INTERVIEW WITH GROVER AND HE ASKED ME HOW IT FELT WHEN I FALL OFF MY BIKE AND I CHUCKLED DARKLY AND SAID “I DON’T FALL OFF MY BIKE” AND HE LOOKED AT THE CAMERA AND SAID “oh.” NAD THEN I SATRTED POINTING AND LAUGHIGN AT HIM AND THEN THEY CUT TO THE NEXT SCENE AND THAT WAS IT THAT IS MY LEGACY
when you sat in a weird position for a long time and you move and then your foot feels like this
most accurate description of anything accurate ever in the history of accuracy
That’s very scarily accurate
some guy just called my number thinking i was a male prostitute, and he started talking to me about how much he could pay me so i pulled up gunshot noises on my computer and started screaming and he panicked and hung up
911 jUST FFUCKING CALLLLED ME IA AMC LAUGHHING SO HARD I TOLD THEM THE SITUEATION AND I’M STULL FUCMKING LAUGHING BECUASE NO W HTE’YRE TRACING THE GUY TO ARREST HIM FOR TRYING TO SOLICITEA ND PAY FOR SEX
I’VE DONE A GOOD
